Tag: perimenopause

  • The quiet truth about Christmas stress  & how to gently minimise it

    The quiet truth about Christmas stress  & how to gently minimise it

    Christmas is painted as a season of magic… twinkly lights, cosy moments, perfect memories.

    But for so many women — especially in perimenopause and post menopause — it can feel like pressure wrapped in tinsel.

    There’s the emotional load, the mental load, the organising, the hosting, the shopping, the remembering. And all of that lands on top of the hormonal shifts that already make your nervous system more sensitive.

    If you’ve ever found yourself on the verge of tears because you still haven’t wrapped the gifts, or feeling resentful because everyone else seems relaxed while you’re carrying the entire season… you are absolutely not alone.

    Let’s talk about why Christmas feels so stressful, and how you can gently dial it down this year.

    Why Christmas can feel heavier during perimenopause

    Your stress bucket is already fuller

    Fluctuating hormones mean your body’s stress response is more reactive. What you used to take in your stride now feels bigger, louder, more intense. Add Christmas expectations on top… and the bucket can overflow.

    The invisible labour intensifies

    You are probably the one thinking:

    • What food do we need?
    • Where are the spare gift tags?
    • Who’s getting what?
    • Do we have enough chairs?

    This constant mental spinning is exhausting.

    Old patterns meet new limits

    You might still be trying to meet the standards of a woman you no longer are — the one with more energy, more bandwidth, more capacity.

    But your body is asking for something different now.

    How to gently minimise Christmas stress this year

    1. Lower your standards — intentionally

    Not everything needs to be perfect.

    Good enough is truly enough.

    Choose one area you can simplify — gifts, food, wrapping, decorations — and let it be lighter.

    2. Share the load (even if it feels uncomfortable)

    Ask your partner, kids, siblings, or friends to take on clear tasks.

    Not “help me with the food” but “can you make the starter?”

    Not “I need support” but “can you wrap these three gifts?”

    Delegating isn’t a weakness — it’s a way of preserving your nervous system.

    3. Build in micro-rest pockets

    Instead of waiting for a big break that never arrives, give yourself tiny moments:

    A 5-minute breather in the bathroom

    A quick walk outside

    Two minutes with your feet up

    Breathing exercises while the kettle boils

    These small pauses reset your stress hormones far more than you think.

    4. Decide what you’re not doing this year

    This is powerful.

    You don’t have to attend every event.

    You don’t have to bake if you hate baking.

    You don’t have to do Christmas exactly as you’ve always done it.

    Letting go makes room for ease.

    5. Nourish your body so it can hold you

    Your nervous system is more stable when:

    You eat regularly

    You avoid skipping meals

    You prioritise protein

    You keep hydrated (yes, even when it’s freezing!)

    Stable blood sugar = fewer stress spikes = a calmer Christmas.

    6. Protect your quiet moments

    Even during the busiest week, you’re allowed space just for you.

    A bath, a chapter of your book, a walk alone, a cup of tea in silence.

    These aren’t luxuries — they’re regulation.

    A Christmas that feels like you

    Christmas doesn’t have to feel frantic, overwhelming or heavy.

    It can be slower.

    Softer.

    More grounded.

    More aligned with the woman you are now — not the woman you were 10 years ago.

    You get to choose what you carry.

    You get to choose what you put down.

    And you get to create a Christmas that feels nourishing rather than draining.

    Wishing you a calmer, gentler festive season — with more joy, more presence, and far less pressure. You’ve absolutely earned that.

  • Let’s talk real about self care

    Let’s talk real about self care

    After attending a networking group recently, I have felt compelled to write about this topic.

    Let’s be real for a second… self-care often gets treated like the sprinkles on top of life. Cute, nice-to-have, but totally optional. But here’s the truth I learned the hard way: ignoring your wellbeing comes with a cost — and its way more expensive than you think. If you don’t listen to your body when it whispers it will start shouting.

    Here’s a story – Once upon a time, you are “killing it” at work. On paper, your life looked shiny and successful. Behind the scenes? You are running on fumes. Anxious, restless, completely wiped out. Eventually, your body hit the brakes for you. You might end up spending months in bed, and over a year unable to work. Zero energy. Zero income. Zero joy. Honestly, it will be a wake-up call you will never forget.

    That’s why I’m so passionate about this: self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s survival. And when we skip it, here’s what usually happens:

    ✨ We “unwind” with wine instead of actually relaxing.

    ✨ We shop to feel better instead of moving our bodies.

    ✨ We scroll for hours instead of processing our emotions.

    ✨ We snap at people we love because our own boundaries are frayed.

    ✨ We guzzle coffee because we refuse to give ourselves the rest we need.

    That’s not care — that’s compensation. And it drains us more than it restores us.

    So, let me ask you this: are you choosing habits that genuinely fill you up, or are you just patching over the cracks? Real self-care isn’t about bubble baths or spa days (though those are lovely). It’s about tending to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health every day. It’s about making sure you stay whole — because burnout, illness, and resentment are a much higher price to pay.

    Self-care is not the side dish. It’s the main course. And choosing it daily? That’s where your energy, joy, and resilience come from. It’s hard to take time for yourself when you have always done for others but if you don’t by the time you get to perimenopause you will feel it and wish you had done more earlier.

    Does this resonate? Get in touch or join my Facebook group to chat more.

  • What Is a Menopause Doula—and what do they do?

    What Is a Menopause Doula—and what do they do?

    When you hear the word doula, you might think of birth or postpartum care. But did you know there are doulas for menopause, too?

    That’s right—there is a growing group of trained professionals whose mission is to support people through the major hormonal and life transition known as perimenopause and menopause. They are called menopause doulas, and their work is a quiet revolution in how we care for people in midlife.

    If you’re navigating changes in your body, mind, or identity during this time—or even just wondering what to expect in the years ahead—here’s what you need to know about menopause doulas and how they can support you.

    First: What Is a Menopause Doula?

    A menopause doula is a trained support person who walks alongside you during the perimenopause and menopause transition. Their role is non-medical, non-judgmental, and deeply holistic—offering emotional, practical, and often spiritual support tailored to your unique experience.

    Think of a menopause doula as a compassionate guide. Someone who:

    • Listens without rushing or minimizing
    • Helps you understand what’s happening in your body
    • Offers grounded, personalised resources
    • Supports your emotional wellbeing
    • Holds space for your questions, grief, shifts, and celebrations

    They’re not here to diagnose or treat. They’re here to witness, support, and empower you through one of life’s biggest—and often least understood—transitions.

    Why Might Someone Work with a Menopause Doula?

    Many people enter perimenopause feeling confused, anxious, or completely unprepared. Symptoms can be physical (hot flashes, insomnia, fatigue), emotional (mood swings, anxiety, grief), and existential (Who am I now? What’s next?).

    Here’s why someone might seek out a menopause doula:

    • You’re overwhelmed by symptoms and information.
    • You feel alone in your experience.
    • You want support that goes beyond short doctor visits.
    • You’re making medical decisions and want clarity.
    • You’re going through surgical menopause.
    • You’re grieving the loss of fertility or identity.
    • You’re ready to approach this transition with intention.

    A menopause doula offers the kind of attuned, personalised care that’s hard to find in our current healthcare system—and makes a world of difference.

    What Does a Menopause Doula Do, Exactly?

    Menopause doulas tailor their services to each client, but here are some common ways they support people:

    🪷 Emotional Support

    Menopause can stir up big feelings—from anxiety to grief to unexpected joy. A doula offers a safe space to explore these emotions without judgment.

    🪷 Symptom Navigation

    From brain fog to night sweats, symptoms can be frustrating and confusing. A doula can help you track patterns, explore lifestyle adjustments, and prepare for medical conversations.

    🪷 Lifestyle & Wellness Support

    Doulas often offer guidance around sleep, nutrition, movement, and rest—always centered around your values, not one-size-fits-all advice.

    🪷 Partner & Family Support

    Need help communicating what you’re going through? Doulas can help loved ones better understand and support you during this time.

    🪷 Medical Advocacy

    They can help you prepare for appointments, clarify questions, and sort through your options—so you feel confident, not overwhelmed.

    🪷 Space for Transformation

    Above all, menopause doulas create space for reflection. Who are you becoming in this season of life? What are you ready to release or reclaim?

    What’s the Difference Between a Doula and a Doctor or Therapist?

    A menopause doula doesn’t replace your doctor or therapist—they complement them.

    • Doctors focus on diagnosis and treatment.
    • Therapists support emotional and mental health.
    • Doulas hold space for the full picture—body, mind, and spirit—with a deeply personalized and relationship-based approach.

    In a world where most appointments last 15 minutes, doulas offer time, spaciousness, and presence. Many people say it’s the first time they’ve felt truly seen during menopause.

    You deserve support

    You do not have to go through menopause alone.

    Whether you’re just starting to notice changes or deep in the thick of it, know this: you are not broken, you are becoming. And having someone walk beside you—someone who sees your wholeness, not just your symptoms—can make all the difference.

    Menopause doulas are here to help you feel grounded, informed, and supported. Because this transition matters. And so do you.