My menopause story
I believe true understanding often comes from lived experience, and my own journey through perimenopause was certainly a powerful teacher. It was a time of immense challenge that ultimately led me to create Meno Alchemist, so that no other woman has to navigate this path feeling as lost as I once did.
When my life fell apart… and menopause wasn’t even on the radar
For years, I was completely unaware of menopause. Throughout my 40s, it wasn’t something that had ever been discussed with me by anyone, and honestly, it just wasn’t on my radar. I didn’t experience the typical hot flashes, night sweats, or any of the other symptoms I associated with menopause.
Then, life took an incredibly difficult turn. Alongside what I now know was perimenopause, my children left home, my relationship broke down, and an accident left me unable to do my job. My life, as I knew it, simply fell apart. I was unable to function in any capacity. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, but deep down, I knew it was so much more profound than just those labels. All my coping strategies crumbled, and I felt utterly unable to cope with my life or the rapidly changing world around me.
Years of misunderstood symptoms
I spent eight to ten years suffering. I experienced persistent depression, overwhelming anxiety, constant panic attacks, and a profound feeling of disconnect from myself and the world. My mood became so low, and I felt like such a burden because of poor memory and an inability to make even simple decisions, that there were times I no longer wanted to be here. I couldn’t even drive or leave the house alone.
The most startling thing? At no point during those challenging years did I realise any of this was perimenopause.
The pieces finally fell into place
It wasn’t until I was 51 years old and hadn’t had a period for 12 months that the puzzle pieces finally started to click. Looking back, I can now clearly see that my symptoms, which felt so confusing and overwhelming at the time, had actually begun in my early 40s, possibly even as early as my late 30s.
What truly surprised me about my menopause journey was my complete lack of knowledge. Because I didn’t have the “typical” symptoms, I was dismissed by the medical profession and, crucially, by myself. I genuinely didn’t realise that symptoms like debilitating depression, anxiety, and panic attacks could be intimately related to perimenopause.
Finding my path to well-being
Since the treatments I was receiving for depression and anxiety weren’t working – in fact, I was getting worse – I sought out a private gynaecologist. That appointment was a turning point. She finally explained menopause to me and discussed Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) as a potential option. I had already begun making some adjustments to my diet and exercise, and I truly feel these changes had a significant positive impact.
My biggest regret is wishing I had known earlier how much these things could help, as I would have started them so much sooner.
What I wish I’d known sooner
If I could turn back time, I wish I’d known about the menstrual health timeline. It would have allowed me to make proactive adjustments to my life long before any of my debilitating symptoms began.
I wish I had understood the profound impact that lifestyle choices have on how you experience both your menstrual cycle and menopause. Most of all, I wish I had had a clear picture of what to expect and what perimenopause could really look like, beyond just hot flashes.
A message to younger menstruators
To all younger menstruators, I want you to know this:
menopause is an integral part of your mental health timeline.
The changes you make during your menstruating years can profoundly impact how you experience menopause decades later. I truly wish I’d understood more about what our bodies go through during our menstrual cycle and throughout perimenopause. Equipping yourself with this knowledge early on is one of the most powerful steps you can take for your future self.
My own journey has shown me the immense power of understanding and holistic support. This is why I’m here at Meno Alchemist – to ensure you have the guidance, knowledge, and community I wish I’d had.
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